Can't Cheer For Old Notre Dame

The JSL Counterpunch to Lil' Ian O'Connor

Dear Mr. O'Connor:
I made it about halfway through this column before the sanctimony and pretentiousness choked out my monitor, but I think I got the gist.

Your reaction -- in fact most of the media's reaction to Notre Dame's inevitable actions over the last couple of weeks simply adds up to a tired and failed PC agenda. As a head coach on the field, Willingham is and has always been aggressively mediocre everywhere he goes. While racially charged accusations fly, the only black and white that matters is on the stat sheet -- a 56% career winning percentage. The guy loses practically half the games he coaches. That's not good enough for any major program in the country. The only reason it's supposed to be good enough at Notre Dame is because those with your political agenda and world view want the football program to be some societal beacon for cultural experimentation. NEWSFLASH: It's a football program...not a social justice workshop.

All you're saying is, " ND football = Appearance over substance. APPEAR progressive. APPEAR englightened. Make THAT statement. Fight for the CAUSE. Fall on your sword. Turn the football program into some kumbaya diversity workshop in which all the players are nice, get straight As, bow and scrape to their .500 coaching staff, and avoid offending anyone. But, don't COMPETE. Don't WIN. Because competition is bad, as is the fact that there are winners and losers in life. Making money is bad. Distinguishing yourself in practical, easily identified ways is bad because there's no aura of altruism and moral snobbery about it all to make you feel warm, snuggly and superior to everyone else.

USC? You can win. Oklahoma? Alabama? Michigan? Nebraska? Go for it. Do whatever you want to compete, aspire to excellence, and distinguish yourself and your university. Let's just make sure Notre Dame obsesses over socially appropriate PR moves and continues to wallow in comfortable, all-inclusive mediocrity. Anything to soothe our own insecurity.

So, as ND moves on from this Neverland fever swamp of blue state angst, all we learn is there are just as many sanctimonious, perpetually nervous hand-wringers in sports media as there are on the news side. Same cause and reason. As Fr. Malloy leaves and takes his failed administration with him (leaving a university that's in turmoil athletically, academically and spiritually), Notre Dame supporters also look forward to losing all of your ilk with him. Your era of affirmative action and inconsistent and arbitrary PC morality is coming to an end, replaced by the rule of law and a world of facts -- the inevitable, necessary victory of the true human desire for excellence and achievement.

But, good news...That fact should keep you in insipid, whiny columns for some time to come.

Regards,
John Scott Lewinski

P.S.: Do something about the hair. You look like a ventriloquist's dummy. "Say hello to the nice folks, Little Ian..."